Wednesday, December 2, 2009

The Twelve Days of Okie Christmas

Even though I have lived in Oklahoma for a mere five years, I have taken poetic license and extrapolated what I know of this great midwestern state in order to write a witty and thrilling rendition of a really long song that is Christmas season's version of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"...something greatly needed at holiday time (long holiday songs, I mean, not beer). I have officially vetted these song lyrics with people who have lived in this state for far longer than I have, and they have all told me, "This pretty much covers it." As far as I'm concerned, that kind of proof is as good as a scientific study. (That's how professional I am about these kinds of things.)

With that brilliant introduction, I give you my song...

The Twelve Days of Okie Christmas
An homage to my adopted state of Oklahoma

To be sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas (in case this is somehow not obvious)

For my first Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my second Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     two Boomer Sooners and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my third Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners, and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my fourth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my fifth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my sixth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     six gaping potholes, five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my seventh Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     seven Rooster Days, six gaping potholes, five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my eighth Okie Christmas,  my true love gave to me
     eight rodeos, seven Rooster Days, six gaping potholes,
     five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my ninth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     nine Indian tacos, eight rodeos, seven Rooster Days,
     six gaping potholes, five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my tenth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     ten Garth Brooks albums, nine Indian tacos,
     eight rodeos, seven Rooster Days, six gaping potholes,
     five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my eleventh Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     eleven Will Rogers saddles, ten Garth Brooks albums,
     nine Indian tacos, eight rodeos, seven Rooster Days,
     six gaping potholes, five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.
For my twelfth Okie Christmas, my true love gave to me
     twelve trips to Sonic, eleven Will Rogers saddles,
     ten Garth Brooks albums, nine Indian tacos,
     eight rodeos, seven Rooster Days,
     six gaping potholes, five tickets to Bedlam...
     four tornado shelters, three oil wells, two Boomer Sooners,
     and a picture of Pistol Pete.

Legal disclaimer: This song is written totally in jest and is in no way intended to be an endorsement of or commentary about any Oklahoma college football teams or mascots, Oklahoma residents living or dead, recording artists, music preferences, horse-riding as a sport or hobby, energy sources, weather patterns, road conditions, dietary options, fast food restaurants, or true love.

Copyright (C) 2009 by Michele Chiappetta. All rights reserved.

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