Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Cheeze-Its Are Out to Get Me

It started when I was just a wee child, on my mother's knee. She fed me delicious cheese, and I was hooked. I quickly became a junkie...provolone, mozzarella, muenster... It didn't matter, so long as it was cheese.

It wasn't long before I graduated to cheesy snack items, like Doritos and Cheetos. But when I met the Cheeze-It cracker, a devastating love affair began, filled with obsession, longing, secret meetings, and eating of whole boxes at one sitting.

Yes, I admit it. I'm addicted to Cheeze-It crackers.
I try to avoid them, but it's impossible. They line up, box by box, along the shelves of the grocery store in a riotous variety of flavors that I can't ignore. They lurk on the aisle endcaps, forcing me to notice their svelte orange-red cardboard, their jaunty crackers dancing on their box fronts, and their yummy cheddar hunks, tempting me with tasty goodness.

How can I resist?

Oh, I wish I could place the blame elsewhere. On MSG, say. But Cheeze-Its don't contain MSG. They aren't made with addictive food additives. It's just the cheese...the darned, tasty, irresistible cheese! And I can't say no.

Even their ads are charmingly enticing. How devious! I can't turn away from the mix of charm and humor that says, "You want me, baby. You know you want me."

And I do. I yearn for Cheeze-It crackers, like the deserts yearn for rain. It's embarrassing and humbling. And it's hard to admit. But for my own recovery as a cheese addict, I have to tell you about it. Maybe one day, I will live in a world free of temptation.

But until then, I'll have to put the Cheeze-Its back on the shelf, and buy something else.

Like Cadbury milk chocolate bars. Because chocolate is good for me. Right?

Copyright (c) 2011 by Michele Chiappetta. All rights reserved.


  1. I love Cheeze-Its. They are the angels of Grilled Cheesus.

  2. I have never tried these, and from your post, maybe I shouldn't because I'm a big cheese fan. Now, between cheese and chocolate - that's a toss up ;)

  3. Yes, they are definitely the stars of cheesy snacks, Terrell! Tracey, you should definitely try them sometime, but plan to lock them in the cabinet after a handful. Hahaha! I don't really eat whole boxfuls at a time, but they can be tempting. :)

  4. I've always liked Cheeze-Its, though it's been a while since I've had them... this post may change that. :)

  5. I love a big block of cheddar with saltine crakers.

  6. I admit to the condition; I'm hooked on these wonderfully cheesey yet crunchy bite-sized slices of baked heaven. Only way to live through the cravings is to avoid making eye-contact in the store, only on the occasion indulge in a box, and remind yourself that if you finish the box in one day then you won't have any to eat the next.

    And now I'm hungry. For Cheeze-Its, darn you.


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