Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Your Brain Is Shrinking: Congratulations!

Just wanted to share the news. Humans are still evolving. And the sign of this is: our brains are shrinking.

Wait... What?

Perhaps it's just me, but somehow evolution sounds like a positive, while shrinking brains sound like a negative. I'm not sure we should be popping open the champagne bottles over this.

 It's not a big leap from shrinking brain to computer overlords taking over the earth and ruling mankind with an iron fist. Get it? Iron fist! Hahaha! (When  the robots take over, I plan to survive by making them laugh.)

What I love about modern science is how it puts a positive spin on things that are probably problems. You know... like a shrinking brain. The experts don't know why our brains are getting smaller, but they suggest it's because we are able to relax and specialize our knowledge in today's world, so we don't need to think as much.
I agree we aren't thinking much these days. But I personally take that as a sign we are devolving. We're going backwards, and soon we're all going to look and sound like Homer Simpson. We won't be all that bright anymore. But we'll really, really, really enjoy our doughnuts. Mmm. Doughnuts.

Actually, we'll end up spelling it donuts. Because our brains will be too small to remember how to spell doughnuts. This is a sad future for spelling. But it's a sign of evolution, nonetheless, so we might as well be happy about it. Stupidity is the future!

I think that could be someone's 2012 campaign slogan...

In the meantime, I leave you with the sage words of Homer, who will be like Socrates once our brains shrink enough:

"All right, brain. You don't  like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."

Words to live by, when your brain is too small to do anything else.

Copyright (c) 2011 by Michele Chiappetta. All rights reserved.

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